Finding time to relax… without feeling guilty

I am not sorry that it has taken me so long to get the final post in my series about court processes up on here.

Yes, you read that correctly. I’m not sorry.

I would have liked to get it sorted for you nice and quickly, but the thing is, I have taken some leave from work and am trying really REALLY hard to give myself some down time. This isn’t something I am good at but when I start loosing sleep, and having bad dreams when I do sleep, I know its time to take a step back and remind myself that there is a world outside my (home) office.

Unfortunately, compartmentalising is not a skill I have, so whenever I’ve sat down to write for you all, I try to open the door to that part of my brain and my work to-do list falls out, along with reminders of all my court deadlines and ongoing projects, and then I start to stress and just want to turn my work laptop on.

Usually my husband and I would use our leave to go away, even just for a day trip, to get us out of our heads and back in the real world. But, this week, that’s not possible because a) my husband is at work and b) I’m still not quite comfortable out and about for anything non-essential (yes, I am a quarantine hermit).

So instead I have been hiding from my responsibilities by distracting myself with cooking, baking, making stock from scratch, binging netflix (the entire latest seasons of The Sinner, Dead to Me and Queer Eye have been blown through), video workouts and disappearing into a few good books (always fiction, I am all about escapism).

I’ve also been getting back into some of my old arty hobbies by making a ‘congratulations’ card for a friend and sketching the flowers in my garden

And I have needed that, badly.

I am a classic workaholic, with real issues recognising and prioritising my own needs and so I always feel very guilty whenever I do things for me. But damn it, if that isn’t a terrible, destructive habit that I really need to get out of.

So part 4 of the court process posts can wait. If anyone needs me, well, tough!

In case it isn’t obvious from the fact I still haven’t identified the authority I work for, the views expressed on this blog are my own opinion and not the opinion of that local authority

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